About Me

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I have three fabulous children and a terrific husband. I was recently laid off and have decided to try the stay-at-home gig. We'll see how it goes!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Why Bother Talking

Never say never is a great old saying that I try to abide by. But right now it feels like my children NEVER listen to me. It's not the usual things that they ignore like directions to get ready for bed or to turn off the television. It seems like even when they ask me a question they don't bother to listen to the answer. I get interrupted in the middle of a sentence like I don't even exist. It's the craziest thing. Somehow what I have to say is not important, relevant or even interesting. I have to admit, that hurts a little bit. I tried not talking, and they just got mad at me because I was "ignoring" them. What?!!!

My biggest concern is that they will ignore me when it is essential that they listen. If they are about to get run over by a car, I want them to stop when I yell, "Stop!". I saw an episode of "Super Nanny" that addressed this problem. Jo said the problem was the children had actually learned to completely tune out their mother's voice and she needed something else to get their attention because no matter what she did, her kids could not hear her while they were distracted.

I am starting to wonder if my being home has made my voice so monotonous to my kids that they've learned to completely block it out. Maybe I talk to much and now all my kids can hear is "wah, wah, wah" like adults in Peanut cartoons. Jo solved the problem by introducing a bell. Maybe I should get a blow horn. That would be hard to ignore.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Patience Problem

My baby is going through a phase where she just screams if she wants anything. I'm really not sure how this came about, but it's annoying. She knows how to use sign language if she wants food or a bottle and we've always been good at paying attention to her signals for play or sleepiness. But now, if she wants anything she screams like a rhesus monkey. It's just "ah, eeh, eeh". And if we don't respond fast enough it becomes a really loud, "eeeeeheeeheeahhhhhh."  Sometimes picking her up to comfort her does no good and she'll just sit with you and scream. It's like she doesn't even know why she's doing it.

Practice makes patience and my husband and I have become quite good at staying calm when our children are having these kinds of meltdowns. We usually manage to keep our cool and try to help calm the irrational child. Sometimes it works, sometimes they end up screaming in their rooms while I eat chocolate and my husband sits in his chair with his eyes closed.

Anyway, the baby was having one of these episodes last night and my husband and I were very patiently holding her, talking to her, trying to figure out what was wrong, and I began to wonder if we were doing the right thing by being so patient? Not that we should be yelling or punishing her in any way. But is there a point where too much patience can hurt a child? Our other two kids went through semi-similar phases, mainly at 2 o'clock in the morning. For them, my husband and I just sucked it up for a few nights and let them cry for 20-30 minutes before they finally decided to go back to sleep. It only took 2-3 nights and it was all over and now they sleep through the night 99.9% of the time. I wonder if we had been more "patient" with their behavior and gotten up and cuddled them and helped them back to sleep, would we still be dealing with sleeplessness 7 years later?

I'm not sure what to do with the baby now. She isn't crying in the middle of the night, she's just crying. There doesn't appear to be any obvious pain or lack of attention. I wonder if we stopped running to her rescue if she would quit screaming so much. The idea of letting her sit and cry is quite horrific to me. Her cute little face all twisted with the pain of knowing no one is coming to make her feel better. But maybe it would be the best thing we could do.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Becoming a Man

My son took his first step toward manhood yesterday.  He and our oldest daughter were playing outside on the play-set while my husband and I were inside hanging a new ceiling fan.  I should rephrase.  My husband was hanging the new ceiling fan; I was doing the "woman's work", watching the baby and handing him screws.  Anyway, we were inside when I heard our daughter yell, "Mom! Mom! Come quick!"  It wasn't the normal yell where she just wants me to go out and see a bug or watch her spin on the swing.  This yell sounded serious.  So, of course, I ran outside.

The kids ran up to me panting and we had the following conversation:

Daughter:  Mom!  He peed!

Me:  OK, lets get you cleaned up, Buddy.

Daughter:  No, he peed!

Me:  I didn't speak here I just looked at them both with my 'huh' face.

Son:  Mom, can I pee in the lawn?

Me:  What?

Daughter:  He peed in the lawn!!!  He pulled his mmm out and went!

Son:  Is that OK mom?  Can I pee in the lawn?

Me:  Sounds like you already did.

Son:  Yah.

Me:  Well, I guess that's a benefit of being a boy.

Son:  Yeah!

Daughter:  Ah man, that's not fair.

This was followed by a chorus of  "I can pee on the lawn!  I can pee on the lawn!"  Must be nice.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Butterflies in my stomach

I'm not sure I'm going to make it.  Today my daughter auditioned for her school's talent show.  She played "Fur Elise" by Beethoven and did a great job.  They gave her the option of having me in the audition or not and she chose not.  I have to admit that it hurt a little.  I am the person who carried her for almost 43 weeks, spent 30 hours in labor, changed some ridiculous diapers and had endless fights with her about practicing piano so she could be good enough to participate in a school talent show, but I completely understand.  I make her nervous.  The person she looks to hide behind when a stranger approaches makes HER nervous.  

That just hurt my feelings a little; the worst part was how nervous I was for her.  My stomach was all in knots.  I was having to take deep breaths to calm my nerves.  What is wrong with me?  It was only a small audition for the school talent show where most kids will be allowed to participate!  I can't imagine what I'm going to be like when one of my kids is trying to do something that is really important to them.  I may actually have a nervous break down.

What impressed me most was how brave my little girl was.  She was in the school gym, just her and several teachers, allowing them to judge her ability to play piano.  Many of my most difficult and embarrassing memories revolve around being judged, critiqued or analyzed.  Those experiences have left me with a pretty thin skin and I have great difficulty taking criticism from others.  I hope and pray that my children will not have the same harsh experiences.  Criticism can be good and it's important to realize that there is always room for improvement.  I just hope their "judging panel" is a little kinder than mine.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Little Perspective

The terrorist attacks in Boston, the explosion at the fertilizer plant in Texas and a construction accident that killed 2 in my home town just today have really got me thinking.  I live a truly spoiled, easy life.  There are many families whose lives have imploded in the last two days.  They went to work or to watch the marathon thinking it was going to be an ordinary day and then BOOM it's destroyed in just a few seconds.  I sit here and blog about my petty issues with potty training, crazy kids and needing some alone time when really I should be super grateful that I have those problems to begin with.  

I love my family and thankfully, I can only imagine what it feels like to lose some one in such an unexpected, terrible way.  I pray I never do and I will continue to pray for families who struggle to cope with these kinds of tragedies.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Always the bad guy never the crazy circus fun

I have found that one of the biggest side effects to being a SAHM is that I'm always the heavy.  It's not my husband's fault; I'm just alone with the kids more.  I'm the one who has to break up fights, make people practice piano, call them in from outside, cut the fingernails and uphold the punishments.  While on vacation I left the two oldest with my husband and they didn't even care.  It really hurt.  I asked for a hug because I wouldn't see them for a few days and they couldn't even be bothered to get off the couch.  They just said, "See ya', mom", and that was it.  Not even an "I love you".

My husband goes to work for the day and when he comes home, they practically throw a parade.  It's about 3 minutes of screaming, "Daddy's home!  Daddy's home!".  He can barely walk in with all the children blocking the door.  Even the baby.  She gets a glimpse of him and tumbles end over end trying to crawl to him while waving her arms in joyful hysteria.  If he leaves the room they ask where he's going and how long he'll be gone.  The kids break out in dance for me too, only it's when I leave the room.

I know it comes with the job, it would just be nice to be greeted with hugs and kisses and smiles instead of sighs, rolling eyes and whines.  They seem to think every time I open my mouth I'm going to be giving them bad news.  If I greet my daughter at her bedroom door in the morning, I get rolled eyes and an "I know, time for a shower".  Just a year ago, she would have said, "Hi Mommy.  Good morning." and given me a giant hug.  No more.  Now I'm the rule monster.  Oh well.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

I'm too lazy to be a good mom

There are some really great moms out there.  You know, the ones that run around with their kids at the park, do arts and crafts with them at home and are seemingly able to put all their wants aside for the good of their children.  I am not that mom.  I don't have the energy.  My poor kids ask me to play with them and sometimes I do, but I just do not have the mental strength to play kitchen, rescue bot or school for more than 10 or 15 minutes a day.  It's not like I ignore my kids, I play with them; just not for super long periods of time. 

I like to take my kids to the park so they can run around and play without me.  I like watching them have a good time while I do nothing.  I tell myself it helps them develop independence.  In some ways it does, but lately I've been wondering if I'm too lazy to be a good mom.  There is more to motherhood than cooking and cleaning and organizing play-dates, but that's the part I focus on.  I enjoy the planning, juggling activities and completing tasks.  Checking something off the "to do" list gives me a huge high.  Shouldn't playing with my kids do the same thing?


Friday, April 5, 2013

Why being a SAHM rocks!

There are all kinds of ups and downs to being a SAHM, but the last few weeks I have really begun to appreciate staying home.  And it's all because of my husband.  The man is working HARD!  Too hard.  I'm talking 28 emails between 10:30 and 11 o'clock at night hard.  It's ridiculous how hard he works to be a great dad and a great husband and a great statistical, computer software program, pig DNA guy.  I really don't deserve him.  

Anyway, back to me and why my life is more awesome than his.  It comes down to one simple truth.  I don't have to work if I don't want to.  We were on our way home from vacation and I wasn't stressed at all.  My poor husband was trying to fight thinking about work all the way home.  I wasn't preoccupied with that at all.  Granted, I'm the one responsible for getting everything unpacked and reorganized, but I have time to get it done.  I don't have a boss breathing down my neck to meet arbitrary deadlines or an inbox with literally hundreds of emails I need to respond to.  My biggest concern is making sure the kids get enough sleep so I'm not dealing with evil child-zombies in the morning.

At some point I'm going to have another crazy break down about never getting out of the house and never being alone (probably by the end of the weekend), but right now I'm riding the happy SAHM train.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Another Weight Update

Well, unfortunately there is not much to update here.  Still haven't lost anymore weight.  The good news is I went on vacation and didn't gain any!  Woo hoo.  It's really not that comforting.  Why is it so dang hard to lose the weight!!!!  This getting older crap sucks.  I miss the days when I could just not eat ice cream for a week and lose 3 pounds.  Now I have to watch how many carrots (with no dressing) I eat just to maintain.  I've got to find something to raise my metabolism.... oh and start running.  I haven't gotten around to that yet.  I'll start that soon.  I'm sure I will.