About Me

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I have three fabulous children and a terrific husband. I was recently laid off and have decided to try the stay-at-home gig. We'll see how it goes!

Friday, November 30, 2012

A well deserved break

What a Thanksgiving!  It was truly relaxing and fun.  Because I am a SAHM now, I was worried about never getting a vacation again.  But this last week, I really got a chance to "get away" from my job.

My mother-in-law came to celebrate with us.  She played with the kids while I got things done (or did nothing).  It was awesome!  I have to admit I was pretty bad about letting my husband do the lion's share of work with the kids too.  I laid in bed in the morning until my husband got up to take care of the baby.  I even slept until 8AM a couple of mornings.  He put the kids to bed almost every night and made the kids lunch most days.  It was super nice to not be the primary care giver all day long.  I was able to get some house work done and relax.  And I mean really relax.

My kids have really benefited as well.  I'm much calmer with them and have been way more patient.  I feel a little more like myself and a lot less frazzled.  I feel bad that my husband spent his time off catering to the kids, but I think he'll forgive me.  I am very excited to have discovered that it is possible to get some extended time off from being a SAHM without leaving the house.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Why I can't lose the baby weight!

It rained this morning.  It rained a lot this morning.  Fortunately that made it possible to check the work the roofers did earlier in the week.  Unfortunately, it revealed that they didn't do a good enough job, as there was water dripping from my ceiling.  That wasn't too bad.  I called the roofer and the owner personally came over and took care of the problem.  

While I was getting towels and buckets to try and minimize the mess, I was also trying to get my oldest ready for school.  I love my daughter.  She's fantastic, but she's about as fast as frozen molasses.  It took FOREVER to get her dressed.  Then, my son woke up soaked in pee.  It was everywhere.  He starts sleeping in his bed and eventually ends up on the floor, so his sheets, blankets, stuffed toys and carpet smelled of 4 hour old urine.  That, coupled with my daughter's snail-like qualities lead to her eating breakfast on the way to school, with me having no breakfast at all.  

I needed to go to the grocery store right after dropping my daughter off because I had an appointment later in the afternoon that I could not miss and we were desperate for the 6 things on the list.  Of course, as soon as I got my daughter to school, I realized I forgot the list.  I decided to go back to get it because we really needed everything and I didn't want to forget a thing.  I got the list and off we went on our 15 minute journey to the grocery store.  

As soon as I parked, I realized I forgot my wallet.  So we drove all the way home to get my wallet because we really needed the groceries.  30 minutes later we're finally at the grocery store.  I have to get everyone out in the pouring rain.  We jog inside and as soon as I get the baby in the grocery cart, I realize she has pooped all the way up her back!  Needless to say, as soon as I got home I nearly polished off a package of double stuffed Oreos.  And that's why I can't lose the baby weight.

Friday, November 16, 2012

A rough week

The last week has been a tough one.  I feel like I am nothing more than a cook, a nanny and a maid.  I have had absolutely no time to do anything fun.  My options for having any kind of hobby or to get a little exercise is to get up earlier or stay up later.  Even on the rare occasions where I do get to do something I choose to do, I'm interrupted so many times that I don't even bother anymore.  Every time I think I'm making progress on the house or my endless "to do" list the dog destroys a bag of trash, or my son breaks something or the baby refuses to let me put her down without screaming.  I literally clean up one disaster to go on to the next.  My schedule is to clean and repeat, cook, clean and repeat.

My job as a researcher had the similar kind of redundancy and I often had to repeat the same thing over again, but at least I was interesting.  I hate to say it, but I feel like I am "just" a mom.  And that's terrible to say.  I know what I do now is important, but most of the time is sucks.  Before when I was cleaning up poop or the lint and hair that gets caught in the corners of the house I knew I had a purpose outside of cleaning all things disgusting.  Now that's all I do.  It's even difficult to want to play with the kids because I know it will just be another mess I have to clean up.

I was so looking forward to painting with the kids or sitting and playing with play dough.  But I don't have the time to sit with them and I certainly don't want to have to clean up a bunch of paint; not when I can't even get the floors mopped once a week.  When it takes 2 hours to empty a dishwasher, there just isn't much time for reading books or playing outside.  I know I'm being too much of a Martha (Luke 10:38-42), but if I didn't the house would smell and we'd be walking around in filth.  And I just can't do that.  It's not like I'm trying to keep the house sterile.  I just want to vacuum once a week.  Why can't I get that done?

Monday, November 12, 2012

Alone is but a dream

Why does being a SAHM mean I can never be alone unless I leave the house?  When I was working I could come home and work on some project, or read or just be without some one constantly needing something from me.  All of a sudden my children are unable to function unless they can ask me a bazillion questions every hour.  Sometimes they just want to tell me what they are up to, which is super cute.  But really, I would love to be alone.

I've gotten some mommy time-outs, but I always have to go out.  Sometimes I just want to be LEFT alone.  I should be able to read a book in my house.  I should be able to watch TV in my house.  I should be able to cook alone in my house.  I should be able to pee alone in my house.  Right now the best I can do as far as an activity is Sudoku on my phone.  It's perfect because I can stop it whenever and the kids can interrupt.  Unfortunately, Sudoku is only entertaining for so long.  Occasionally I get to write something, but that only happens when the kids are in bed.  Most of the time I'm trying to catch up on what I didn't get done when the kids were awake, so I have very little time for the fun stuff.

The fact that my kids really want me to be involved in their lives is a nice side effect of being a SAHM.  I knew my kids before, but no where near as well as I do now.  My son even calls me his best friend.  I'm trying not to begrudge this too much because I know in a blink they'll be gone.  I'm still struggling to figure out who I am now that I'm a SAHM and I would like to be more dynamic. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Oops, I should have been offended

I was watching "I Don't Know How She Does It" with Sarah Jessica Parker the other night and I totally forgot to be offended.  Not by the portrayal of a working mother.  That, the movie got spot on.  I could totally relate to her juggling both career and family and hating to miss things, like the first hair cut.  What should have bothered me was their portrayal of SAHMs.  All they showed was two "perfect" mothers who dropped their kids off at school and then spent 7 hours at the gym.  They were perfectly dressed and always had the home made costumes and desserts for school functions.  I realize that they portrayed SAHMs in this way for comical effect, but I wonder if that's how the world sees SAHMs?

When I was working, I saw a lot of moms at the YMCA pool in the summer and thought, "wow, that would be nice".  What I never thought about was maybe those moms have the day off, or maybe they are bored out of their minds!  Maybe while they look relaxed, their brains are actually going 20mph coming up with the list of things they need to get done. 

The movie did touch on one SAHMs potential feeling of boredom with only having family to deal with, but really I think that's the character's fault.  I'm sure there are SAHMs out there who struggle to fill their days when their children are at school.  I often struggle with the lack of a sense purpose.  Yes, there is no more important than job than being a mom... blah, blah, blah.  I know, but lots and lots of people are good moms.  It would just be nice to do something more, something different.

I know SAHMs are more than perfect cookie making, work out junkies.  I need to remember that I am more and that I should take offense and try to change the stereotype.  So I guess what it comes down to is that I haven't really begun to think of myself as a SAHM.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

What is wrong with us?

I think parents are some of the most deranged people on the planet.  We do some of the most ridiculous things.  We will touch, smell, wipe up and scrub anything that comes from our kids.  I thought my son may have peed his pants last night, but I wasn't sure.  He's a pretty hot kid and sweats a lot.  So without thinking, I grabbed up his pajama bottoms and without a care in the world rubbed them all over my face to smell for urine.  Seriously!  No sane person would do that; just parents!

The night before my daughter complained that her sheets were wet.  Again without thinking I immediately wiped my hand over the wet spot and took a deep whiff.  When that did not give enough information to adequately identify the source of the wet spot, I bent over and investigated the situation by applying my face directly to the area in question.  And when I still wasn't satisfied, I called in my husband and he did the same.  What?!!!

Luckily my son did not wet his pants and it appeared that a rogue glass of water was the source of the wet spot in my daughter's bed.  What bothers me the most is that if either one of those situations had turned out to be urine, I would have said, yuck, gotten rid of the odorous problem, washed my hands and gone on with my life.  Maybe I do these things because I feel like my children are an extension of myself or maybe I'm just too tired to care.  Either way, I'm afraid I will never be the same.  My children have forever changed me into a pajama sniffing, booger wiping, vomit catching bio hazardous waste container.