A better year

2012 is finally over!  I have never been excited for a year to end and New Year's has never been that significant a holiday for me.  But this time, New Year's means a lot and I didn't really realize it until last night.  My husband and I have never really celebrated the new year.  Now that we have three kids, one of whom is an infant, we really had no real intention of going out to celebrate or even having much of a celebration at the house.  I did try to have some friends over for dinner and was trying to put something fun together for the kids, but nothing worked out.  So midnight came last night, my husband and I shared a lack-luster sparkling grape juice toast and a peck on the lips.  Pretty anti-climactic; which is why we never really celebrate New Year's to begin with.  This year our rather dull ceremony depressed me.  I had a really tough 2012, physically and emotionally, and for the first time ever, the new year is giving me some hope for the future.  Our celebration for a new year did not match my excitement for my new outlook.

I'm finally in a place where I think I'm comfortable being a SAHM.  I certainly believe there are more pros than cons.  Research that I spent 4 years working on may finally get published this year!  Which means all those years and all that time behind the bench might actually count for something.  And by association my life during that time may have counted for something.  And with that has come a renewed surge of self-confidence that I just might be able to lose the last bit of baby weight.  Yes, that's right.  I've pledged to lose weight just in time for the New Year.  It's not a resolution.  I don't really do those.  It's more the fulfillment of a promise I made to myself a long time ago.  I'm an emotional eater, and I've been pretty bummed the last year, so I've eaten a lot.  Now I'm ready to brush all that debris off, work through my crap and believe in me again.  I'm very excited for 2013.