Pummeled... that's how I feel

Pummeled is the best way to explain my 2012.  95% of the time I am a very optimistic person.  I know my life is pretty darn great.  I have a loving husband and family.  All my children are healthy.  We have plenty to eat and a house to live in.  Life is pretty darn good.

But 2012 has really kicked my in the booty physically, mentally and emotionally.  It didn't start out so bad.  I caught a cold in January.  Just a normal run of the mill cold.  Than two months later, I still had a lingering cough, a pulled muscle in my back and I was peeing my pants with each cough (see previous blog).  Then I lost my job.  That hurt.  I dealt with the embarrassment of that and looked forward to being a SAHM and felt blessed to even have the option.  It wouldn't have been easy finding a job 6 months pregnant.  I would like to say that I've been OK with the transition, but I'm still dealing with the pain of losing my job.  You're ego really takes a beating when you lose your job, even if it's not your fault.

Nothing major happened for a while.  I was getting used to being a SAHM and things were OK.  Then the swelling started.  It wasn't bad at first, but then I was waking in the middle of the night, not able to move my hands because of the swelling.  And they ached, in fact they still ache... all the time.  Soon my feet began to swell to at least twice their normal size.  And my face began to puff.  My face always gets puffy with pregnancy, but this was a little too much for me to bare. I didn't even look like myself.  If I smiled, my eyes would literally disappear into the fluid filled things, I used to call eye lids.  Really, I looked pretty creepy at peek swelling.  My nose swelled to twice its normal size and needless to say I just felt fat and incredibly ugly.  That's really hard to deal with when you're coping with ever changing hormones.


I was learning to cope with all the swelling and then I got a pinched nerve in my leg.  I'm not sure what's going on, but whenever I bend it too far it feels like my skin is literally ripping apart and now I have a spot on my leg about 3 inches in diameter that is completely numb.  Still, I can avoid hurting that spot.  Then I went a week over due.  Not really a big shock; both my other kids were 10 days late.  Three days before the scheduled induction I caught a cold.  And not a mild one either.  I could not breathe out of my nose.  I mean no air was getting through....at all.  I had no voice and developed a cough on the morning of the scheduled induction.  Believe me, there is nothing more painful than trying to blow your nose or coughing during a contraction.  It just takes the pain to a whole new level.  On the upside, my labor was shorter than the other two and much easier.  Plus, I got a beautiful little girl out of it all.


There are a few more things that have happened in the last few months that have been difficult to deal with, but I've made it through.  I can't remember having a tougher five months in my life.  I know I'm extremely lucky.  These complaints are shallow and nothing compared to what others have gone through.  I just try to stay focused on what matters most and I try to remember that it will all get better.