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I have three fabulous children and a terrific husband. I was recently laid off and have decided to try the stay-at-home gig. We'll see how it goes!

Friday, November 16, 2012

A rough week

The last week has been a tough one.  I feel like I am nothing more than a cook, a nanny and a maid.  I have had absolutely no time to do anything fun.  My options for having any kind of hobby or to get a little exercise is to get up earlier or stay up later.  Even on the rare occasions where I do get to do something I choose to do, I'm interrupted so many times that I don't even bother anymore.  Every time I think I'm making progress on the house or my endless "to do" list the dog destroys a bag of trash, or my son breaks something or the baby refuses to let me put her down without screaming.  I literally clean up one disaster to go on to the next.  My schedule is to clean and repeat, cook, clean and repeat.

My job as a researcher had the similar kind of redundancy and I often had to repeat the same thing over again, but at least I was interesting.  I hate to say it, but I feel like I am "just" a mom.  And that's terrible to say.  I know what I do now is important, but most of the time is sucks.  Before when I was cleaning up poop or the lint and hair that gets caught in the corners of the house I knew I had a purpose outside of cleaning all things disgusting.  Now that's all I do.  It's even difficult to want to play with the kids because I know it will just be another mess I have to clean up.

I was so looking forward to painting with the kids or sitting and playing with play dough.  But I don't have the time to sit with them and I certainly don't want to have to clean up a bunch of paint; not when I can't even get the floors mopped once a week.  When it takes 2 hours to empty a dishwasher, there just isn't much time for reading books or playing outside.  I know I'm being too much of a Martha (Luke 10:38-42), but if I didn't the house would smell and we'd be walking around in filth.  And I just can't do that.  It's not like I'm trying to keep the house sterile.  I just want to vacuum once a week.  Why can't I get that done?

2 comments:

TW Hendersonville. said...

I remember those days. Someone coming in every week or two for about 4 hours of cleaning is worth it's wait in gold. In two years when the kids are older you can stop it. but that is what we did.
Tom

TW Hendersonville. said...

Weight no wait.