The Power Struggle

I thought it would be different with the boy.  When my oldest daughter was 4, we had daily battles about how far her personal boundaries would extend.  I really hoped that it was primarily because she was a girl and demonstrated an early desire to be completely independent from us; I'm talking as soon as she could hold a bottle (2 months old!)!  But it turns out gender is a non-issue.  My incredibly adorable, charming, some-what crazy, cuddle buddy is now my biggest nemesis.  He fights everything!  He could be jumping up and down, legs crossed trying not to wet himself, and if I say, "Hey, buddy, go to the bathroom,"  his immediate response is, "No!".  

I don't get it.  Yes, he gets to do more now that he's older, but why does it have to be an all out brawl over whether he gets a blue bowl or a yellow bowl for his cereal.  Who cares?!  I don't.  I'm just not willing to pour the cereal out of one bowl into another because I don't want to wash anymore dishes.  I clean enough around here.  If he asked before I poured the cereal I wouldn't have any troubles at all exchanging.

He has also learned to completely tune out my voice.  He literally hears the first three words of any sentence and then turns off.  If my sentence starts with the word 'No", he shuts down immediately.  It is unbelievably frustrating.  I remember when my daughter went through this and it was just non-stop time-outs and vigilant discipline for weeks at a time.  It sucked!  Oh well.  That's part of being a parent and if I ever want my sweet little boy back we have to set boundaries now.  To over-dramatize it:  if we lose this battle the war will be nearly impossible to win.