Well, it was day one today. I think it was a success. The kids began to battle within 30 minutes of waking up, but once I got some food in them everything was just fine.
A concern of mine and probably a bigger concern of my husband's is that I will "let myself go" now that I'm staying home. Even though it's only day one I am very proud that I was showered, fully dressed and even had "my face on," as they say, before taking my daughter to school this morning. I was however, wearing slippers, but that's only because it was too cold for flip flops and my new found shoe freedom prevents me from wearing socks! Once my feet unswell I fully intend to help multiple shoe stores decrease their sandal inventory.
It was odd. Once I got home from dropping my daughter off from school, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I have a big mental list of things I want to get done, not to mention the things I need to do to get ready for the baby. I was almost paralyzed by too many choices. Then I got the call....or the text rather, and my day got focused. A friend of mine was kind enough to want to celebrate the next phase of my life with a playdate and lunch; which meant a quick clean up was in order. We had a great time. I think my son only hurt her daugher once or twice, so I would say it was a success. It was a lovely surprise and I'm very grateful for the encouragement and fun.
After lunch it was nap time and I had a glorious two hours all to myself. I got to watch TV, made turkey pot pie for dinner and managed to get through a few emails from, my now, former work. Then we were off to pick my daughter up from school and take her to her piano lesson. Another downside to losing my job is that my son has to join us for the lesson. I don't know how many people have ever had the pleasure of trying to keep a two year old quiet during his sister's piano lesson, but it's kind of like asking a fish to breathe out of water.... it's just not going to happen and if it does it's due to some extremely rare genetic mutation.
I have to say the most interesting thing so far about losing my job are the responses I've gotten. My dad practically jumped through the phone with excitement for me. He retired a little over a year ago and currently lives by the motto, "everyday is Saturday". SAHMs congratulate me and let me know how rewarding and fun it is, while working moms and men have tended toward giving me career suggestions. I appreciate it all and have not been offended or upset by any of it. I actually find the difference between groups interesting. Anyway, it gives me something to think about.
My first day as a SAHM is done and I have to say it was pretty darn good. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
About Me
- The Unplanned Housewife
- I have three fabulous children and a terrific husband. I was recently laid off and have decided to try the stay-at-home gig. We'll see how it goes!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Worst Case Scenario
Just last Monday I was thinking, "What could be the worst thing to happen to a stay-at-home mom?". My answer at the time was that you, as the SAHM, are sick and your children are completely healthy. Turns out I might be right. I got sick Tuesday afternoon, my husband left Wednesday on a business trip and three days later I am still trying to get over the after-effects of a nasty little cold. The first couple days were not a problem. I've lived through similar situations before. It is much easier to deal with healthy children when you're sick and you get to go work and/or get to send your children to school and only have to take care of your them for 3-4 hours. I can do just about anything for 3-4 hours.
The problem was today, Saturday. A full day of just me and the kiddos. I've been coughing so much the last week, that I have not slept much; so of course I'm tired. My upper abdomen hurts and each cough is accompanied by a shooting pain in my head, coutesy of pregnancy nose stuffiness. And the piece-de-resistance is that with each cough comes the release of just enough urine to necessitate an underwear change. Totally awesome! Now, I am something of an underwear collector, but even I don't have that many pairs. To top it all off the cough is made worse with talking. And even more worse with loud talking.
So, of course, today was the day my children decided to annoy each other to no end. I did my best to stay calm. But there were definately some tense moments. It doesn't help that I'm tired and I am not known for my patience when I'm tired. On the up side, I got a lot of practice disciplining my children without yelling; something I could definately use practice doing. Unfortunately, I'm very limited as to what I can take to help alleviate the cough. Not much seems to be working, so it looks like I'll be getting more practice tomorrow.. I'm even thinking of taking my husband's suggestion and drinking a cup of hot honey and water.
So how did the evening end with my kids? Beautifully of course. They were sweet and went right to sleep with no problems. I firmly stick to my hypothesis that God invented sleep so at some point everyday our children would look so darn adorable that we would not eat them. God has truly thought of everything!
The problem was today, Saturday. A full day of just me and the kiddos. I've been coughing so much the last week, that I have not slept much; so of course I'm tired. My upper abdomen hurts and each cough is accompanied by a shooting pain in my head, coutesy of pregnancy nose stuffiness. And the piece-de-resistance is that with each cough comes the release of just enough urine to necessitate an underwear change. Totally awesome! Now, I am something of an underwear collector, but even I don't have that many pairs. To top it all off the cough is made worse with talking. And even more worse with loud talking.
So, of course, today was the day my children decided to annoy each other to no end. I did my best to stay calm. But there were definately some tense moments. It doesn't help that I'm tired and I am not known for my patience when I'm tired. On the up side, I got a lot of practice disciplining my children without yelling; something I could definately use practice doing. Unfortunately, I'm very limited as to what I can take to help alleviate the cough. Not much seems to be working, so it looks like I'll be getting more practice tomorrow.. I'm even thinking of taking my husband's suggestion and drinking a cup of hot honey and water.
So how did the evening end with my kids? Beautifully of course. They were sweet and went right to sleep with no problems. I firmly stick to my hypothesis that God invented sleep so at some point everyday our children would look so darn adorable that we would not eat them. God has truly thought of everything!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Pros and Cons
This is a condensced list of some of the things we discussed in determining whether I would stay at home or not. There are plenty more, these are just the ones that stuck out.
Pros to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - More sleep! We won't have to wake the children as early, so I can get to work on time. The kids get more sleep and are then less cranky... maybe.
2 - More 'time'! I can pick our oldest up from school and get her homework done BEFORE 5PM, so we have more time to play with our kids.
3 - Less illness! Not being in daycare may keep our son from getting sick as often and hopefully keep the baby from getting sick... at least for a while.
4 - Less stress for me! I am under no illusions that being a SAHM is easy, however, just knowing I'm getting close to my last day of work has already helped me to relax and feel less rushed. This in turn, has had a positive effect on my kid's attitudes. My husband also travels a lot, so being home would put less stress on me and kids when he's out of town.
5 - No more commuting! We'll save money on gas! I won't get stuck in traffic jams! No more dealing with less than perfect drivers!
6 - Open toed shoes! The job I've had for the last 6 years has not allowed me to wear open toed shoes. No cute sandals or peep toes; just comfortable, reliable shoes. Now I can wear any shoe I want, when I want!!! I can even go barefoot.
7 - No marathon cleaning! Since I'll be at home I can get parts of the house cleaned everyday and won't have to spend several hours every Saturday trying to get the house to a respectable state.
Cons to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - Loss of money. While my paycheck was not huge, it was helpful.
2 - Lack of mental stimulation. I'm sure I will have plenty to do as a SAHM and I LOVE my kids. Our concern is that I'm used to designing complex experiments while helping several others troubleshoot theirs. I am used to getting 12 hours worth of work done in 8. Adjusting to a less hectic pace could be difficult.
3 - Husband working too much. It's possible that my husband may inadvertently become less involved with the family. He may feel less guilt working late because I'm home to take care of the children.
4 - Booty expansion. I am currently 7 months pregnant so the desire to sit in my perfect ugly blue recliner could over come me and I will just eat and watch Sprout with my son. I put on enough weight when I'm pregnant (60-80 lbs), so the last thing I need is less activity.
5 - I am the teacher. Yikes! This could go either way. Staying at home means I will be responsible for teaching our children shapes, colors, numbers, ABCs, etc. I've always relied on others to do that and I have NO idea how I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not exactly known for my patience.
For us, the pros far outweigh the cons. We'll have to see how things work out. Only time will tell.
Pros to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - More sleep! We won't have to wake the children as early, so I can get to work on time. The kids get more sleep and are then less cranky... maybe.
2 - More 'time'! I can pick our oldest up from school and get her homework done BEFORE 5PM, so we have more time to play with our kids.
3 - Less illness! Not being in daycare may keep our son from getting sick as often and hopefully keep the baby from getting sick... at least for a while.
4 - Less stress for me! I am under no illusions that being a SAHM is easy, however, just knowing I'm getting close to my last day of work has already helped me to relax and feel less rushed. This in turn, has had a positive effect on my kid's attitudes. My husband also travels a lot, so being home would put less stress on me and kids when he's out of town.
5 - No more commuting! We'll save money on gas! I won't get stuck in traffic jams! No more dealing with less than perfect drivers!
6 - Open toed shoes! The job I've had for the last 6 years has not allowed me to wear open toed shoes. No cute sandals or peep toes; just comfortable, reliable shoes. Now I can wear any shoe I want, when I want!!! I can even go barefoot.
7 - No marathon cleaning! Since I'll be at home I can get parts of the house cleaned everyday and won't have to spend several hours every Saturday trying to get the house to a respectable state.
Cons to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - Loss of money. While my paycheck was not huge, it was helpful.
2 - Lack of mental stimulation. I'm sure I will have plenty to do as a SAHM and I LOVE my kids. Our concern is that I'm used to designing complex experiments while helping several others troubleshoot theirs. I am used to getting 12 hours worth of work done in 8. Adjusting to a less hectic pace could be difficult.
3 - Husband working too much. It's possible that my husband may inadvertently become less involved with the family. He may feel less guilt working late because I'm home to take care of the children.
4 - Booty expansion. I am currently 7 months pregnant so the desire to sit in my perfect ugly blue recliner could over come me and I will just eat and watch Sprout with my son. I put on enough weight when I'm pregnant (60-80 lbs), so the last thing I need is less activity.
5 - I am the teacher. Yikes! This could go either way. Staying at home means I will be responsible for teaching our children shapes, colors, numbers, ABCs, etc. I've always relied on others to do that and I have NO idea how I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not exactly known for my patience.
For us, the pros far outweigh the cons. We'll have to see how things work out. Only time will tell.
Pros and Cons
This is a condensced list of some of the things we discussed in determining whether I would stay at home or not. There are plenty more, these are just the ones that stuck out.
Pros to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - More sleep! We won't have to wake the children as early, so I can get to work on time. The kids get more sleep and are then less cranky... maybe.
2 - More 'time'! I can pick our oldest up from school and get her homework done BEFORE 5PM, so we have more time to play with our kids.
3 - Less illness! Not being in daycare may keep our son from getting sick as often and hopefully keep the baby from getting sick... at least for a while.
4 - Less stress for me! I am under no illusions that being a SAHM is easy, however, just knowing I'm getting close to my last day of work has already helped me to relax and feel less rushed. This in turn, has had a positive effect on my kid's attitudes. My husband also travels a lot, so being home would put less stress on me and kids when he's out of town.
5 - No more commuting! We'll save money on gas! I won't get stuck in traffic jams! No more dealing with less than perfect drivers!
6 - Open toed shoes! The job I've had for the last 6 years has not allowed me to wear open toed shoes. No cute sandals or peep toes; just comfortable, reliable shoes. Now I can wear any shoe I want, when I want!!! I can even go barefoot.
7 - No marathon cleaning! Since I'll be at home I can get parts of the house cleaned everyday and won't have to spend several hours every Saturday trying to get the house to a respectable state.
Cons to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - Loss of money. While my paycheck was not huge, it was helpful.
2 - Lack of mental stimulation. I'm sure I will have plenty to do as a SAHM and I LOVE my kids. Our concern is that I'm used to designing complex experiments while helping several others troubleshoot theirs. I am used to getting 12 hours worth of work done in 8. Adjusting to a less hectic pace could be difficult.
3 - Husband working too much. It's possible that my husband may inadvertently become less involved with the family. He may feel less guilt working late because I'm home to take care of the children.
4 - Booty expansion. I am currently 7 months pregnant so the desire to sit in my perfect ugly blue recliner could over come me and I will just eat and watch Sprout with my son. I put on enough weight when I'm pregnant (60-80 lbs), so the last thing I need is less activity.
5 - I am the teacher. Yikes! This could go either way. Staying at home means I will be responsible for teaching our children shapes, colors, numbers, ABCs, etc. I've always relied on others to do that and I have NO idea how I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not exactly known for my patience.
For us, the pros far outweigh the cons. We'll have to see how things work out. Only time will tell.
Pros to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - More sleep! We won't have to wake the children as early, so I can get to work on time. The kids get more sleep and are then less cranky... maybe.
2 - More 'time'! I can pick our oldest up from school and get her homework done BEFORE 5PM, so we have more time to play with our kids.
3 - Less illness! Not being in daycare may keep our son from getting sick as often and hopefully keep the baby from getting sick... at least for a while.
4 - Less stress for me! I am under no illusions that being a SAHM is easy, however, just knowing I'm getting close to my last day of work has already helped me to relax and feel less rushed. This in turn, has had a positive effect on my kid's attitudes. My husband also travels a lot, so being home would put less stress on me and kids when he's out of town.
5 - No more commuting! We'll save money on gas! I won't get stuck in traffic jams! No more dealing with less than perfect drivers!
6 - Open toed shoes! The job I've had for the last 6 years has not allowed me to wear open toed shoes. No cute sandals or peep toes; just comfortable, reliable shoes. Now I can wear any shoe I want, when I want!!! I can even go barefoot.
7 - No marathon cleaning! Since I'll be at home I can get parts of the house cleaned everyday and won't have to spend several hours every Saturday trying to get the house to a respectable state.
Cons to being a Stay-at-home mom:
1 - Loss of money. While my paycheck was not huge, it was helpful.
2 - Lack of mental stimulation. I'm sure I will have plenty to do as a SAHM and I LOVE my kids. Our concern is that I'm used to designing complex experiments while helping several others troubleshoot theirs. I am used to getting 12 hours worth of work done in 8. Adjusting to a less hectic pace could be difficult.
3 - Husband working too much. It's possible that my husband may inadvertently become less involved with the family. He may feel less guilt working late because I'm home to take care of the children.
4 - Booty expansion. I am currently 7 months pregnant so the desire to sit in my perfect ugly blue recliner could over come me and I will just eat and watch Sprout with my son. I put on enough weight when I'm pregnant (60-80 lbs), so the last thing I need is less activity.
5 - I am the teacher. Yikes! This could go either way. Staying at home means I will be responsible for teaching our children shapes, colors, numbers, ABCs, etc. I've always relied on others to do that and I have NO idea how I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not exactly known for my patience.
For us, the pros far outweigh the cons. We'll have to see how things work out. Only time will tell.
My last day of work!
This is my first blog! I am very excited to see where this leads and hopefully I don't bore too many people in the process.
The idea for this blog is to chronicle my life as I adjust from being a working mom of two (almost three kids) to a stay-at-home mom. The decision to be a SAHM (an acronym I have recently learned) was not entirely my own; hence the title The Unplanned Housewife. The decision was made for me by a department that decided that although I was valuable to them, they could no longer afford me. In today's economy that's just the way things work.
So how did I reach the decision to be a SAHM? My husband and I have given it a lot of thought. We weighed the pros and cons and decided it would be best for our family for me to stay home, at least for a while. It has not been an easy decision and I cannot say that we have finalized anything. The fact is, I am seven months pregnant and there is no real point in trying to find a job right away when shortly after being hired (assuming some one would hire me) I would go on maternity leave. We are blessed to not have to worry too much about our financial situation, so it is not like I need to get a job to keep our household afloat. We will have to adjust our spending habits, but we're not going to lose our house or have to eat Ramen and Mac&Cheese every night.
Today was my last day at work. At first, everything was pretty uncomfortable really. I didn't have too much to do and everyone seemed to be avoiding me and didn't want to look at me. I am not very comfortable being the center of attention, so I guess that's a good thing. As the day went on people seemed to relax a bit. Turns out my co-workers planned a surprise good-bye party. It was a lot of fun. Leaving the lab was difficult. I had to say goodbye to everyone and I spent a few minutes just looking at my desk. It was quite surreal thinking I wouldn't be coming back. I finally made it to my car and I took another moment before leaving the parking lot just to soak in the moment. I managed to drive away without any tears. Fortunately, any sadness I was feeling was quickly dissipated by the rush hour traffic I had to make my way through to get home. Ahhh the peace that comes with knowing I won't have to do that again!
Anyway, I digress. The two toughest parts of my day today were dropping off and picking up our son from his daycare. Today was his last day and for whatever reason I found it very difficult to say goodbye. We've had our kids in Primrose for over 5 years. We have always felt our children were loved and well cared for; not to mention well educated. It was very hard to watch him say goodbye to his friends and teachers. I know he's really too young to be upset, but I'm sad for him. He won't get to play with his friends everyday and now he is going to have to learn from me. I have a PhD and have taught many classes, but I am in no way qualified to teach a 2 year old his A,B,Cs. That will be an adventure all in itself.
So all in all today has been an awkward day. I've been sad, happy, relieved, angry and excited. Some of that may have something to do with pregnancy hormones, most of however, is not. A good friend of mine told me I need to make sure I grieve the loss of my work. It has been a very large part of my life and now I have to let it go. While I will maintain the friendships I have made I won't get to see the wonderful people I have called my co-workers for the last six years. We have shared good times, tough times, funny times and literally ALL the embarrassing moments of our lives. At least I hope it's all, they are some C-R-A-Z-Y people and I will truly miss seeing them almost everyday.
As another friend of mine has told me, it's not the end, but the beginning. I am entering the next phase of my life and while I'm nervous about what's ahead I'm sure it will be an adventure!
The idea for this blog is to chronicle my life as I adjust from being a working mom of two (almost three kids) to a stay-at-home mom. The decision to be a SAHM (an acronym I have recently learned) was not entirely my own; hence the title The Unplanned Housewife. The decision was made for me by a department that decided that although I was valuable to them, they could no longer afford me. In today's economy that's just the way things work.
So how did I reach the decision to be a SAHM? My husband and I have given it a lot of thought. We weighed the pros and cons and decided it would be best for our family for me to stay home, at least for a while. It has not been an easy decision and I cannot say that we have finalized anything. The fact is, I am seven months pregnant and there is no real point in trying to find a job right away when shortly after being hired (assuming some one would hire me) I would go on maternity leave. We are blessed to not have to worry too much about our financial situation, so it is not like I need to get a job to keep our household afloat. We will have to adjust our spending habits, but we're not going to lose our house or have to eat Ramen and Mac&Cheese every night.
Today was my last day at work. At first, everything was pretty uncomfortable really. I didn't have too much to do and everyone seemed to be avoiding me and didn't want to look at me. I am not very comfortable being the center of attention, so I guess that's a good thing. As the day went on people seemed to relax a bit. Turns out my co-workers planned a surprise good-bye party. It was a lot of fun. Leaving the lab was difficult. I had to say goodbye to everyone and I spent a few minutes just looking at my desk. It was quite surreal thinking I wouldn't be coming back. I finally made it to my car and I took another moment before leaving the parking lot just to soak in the moment. I managed to drive away without any tears. Fortunately, any sadness I was feeling was quickly dissipated by the rush hour traffic I had to make my way through to get home. Ahhh the peace that comes with knowing I won't have to do that again!
Anyway, I digress. The two toughest parts of my day today were dropping off and picking up our son from his daycare. Today was his last day and for whatever reason I found it very difficult to say goodbye. We've had our kids in Primrose for over 5 years. We have always felt our children were loved and well cared for; not to mention well educated. It was very hard to watch him say goodbye to his friends and teachers. I know he's really too young to be upset, but I'm sad for him. He won't get to play with his friends everyday and now he is going to have to learn from me. I have a PhD and have taught many classes, but I am in no way qualified to teach a 2 year old his A,B,Cs. That will be an adventure all in itself.
So all in all today has been an awkward day. I've been sad, happy, relieved, angry and excited. Some of that may have something to do with pregnancy hormones, most of however, is not. A good friend of mine told me I need to make sure I grieve the loss of my work. It has been a very large part of my life and now I have to let it go. While I will maintain the friendships I have made I won't get to see the wonderful people I have called my co-workers for the last six years. We have shared good times, tough times, funny times and literally ALL the embarrassing moments of our lives. At least I hope it's all, they are some C-R-A-Z-Y people and I will truly miss seeing them almost everyday.
As another friend of mine has told me, it's not the end, but the beginning. I am entering the next phase of my life and while I'm nervous about what's ahead I'm sure it will be an adventure!
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