Christmas as a SAHM

I was worried that being a SAHM would make the holidays seem a little less special.  I'm already home all day with the kids, and that's what I usually appreciate about Christmas.  I'm not really huge into decorating.  We always add some Christmas cheer to our house, but it doesn't take over our house.  I started to put pressure on myself to have the perfect Christmas.  After all, as a SAHM, that's my job, right?  To make sure all holidays are super spectacular.  When the flu hit all three of my kids the week before Christmas, I quickly got over that and I'm glad I did.

This Christmas was extra special for me because I got to truly enjoy my family!  That's right.  There was no rushing home from work to play with the kids and then staying up until midnight making goodies or wrapping presents.  I didn't avoid doing housework during the day so I could spend every minute with my kids.  I took care of my chores throughout the day and wasn't worried about soaking up every second with my kids.  It was far more relaxing for me.  And the icing on the cake was that my husband was home for almost two weeks.  He worked a tiny bit from home, but was mostly just here with us.  It was wonderful.  We were all relaxed and laughed and SLEPT!  The kids actually began sleeping in until 8.  That has made the transition back to school a little difficult, but it was awesome all the same.

I guess the biggest difference was that the stress was gone.  I didn't have the "I have a ton to do when I get back" stress.  I didn't have the "I'll never get all of this done" stress.  I got to enjoy my family and have a little vacation myself.

Meal Plan Change

When it comes to my weight, I've been lucky.  In high school and college I could eat like an NFL line backer and not gain an ounce.  After college I had to cut back to eating like a high school line backer.  I exercised daily and when I was pregnant the first time I was in pretty good shape.  I worked out during and was able to get back in the gym immediately after.  It took about 3 months to get back to where I was pre-baby.  And that's after I had gained about 75 pounds during the pregnancy!  I had a fried potatoes and ice cream problem. 

Life changed after we moved and I had less time to exercise.  I didn't gain any weight, I just lost some definition.  I got a little exercise during my second pregnancy, but I did manage a few times a week on the elliptical after he was born.  I certainly couldn't eat like a high school line backer anymore.  I was eating more like a really hungry 20-something.  While most of the baby weight was off in the first 4 months, it took nearly a year to lose all the baby weight.

Now it's almost 8 years since I had my first child and the weight just won't come off.  I get more exercise than I did with my second child, so I guess the issue is that I'm older and my metabolism is slowing.  I've had to slow my eating to a normal 20-something just to maintain where I am now.  To get the last 20 pounds off, I have decided to cut out all sweets and probably all snacks.

I'm two days into my meal plan change (I don't diet) and I have succeeded.  I have had no sweets; which is mega huge for me.  I haven't even snacked.  I did get to finish my son's popsicle tonight, but it was made from fresh squeezed tangelo juice, so that doesn't count.  I haven't lost any weight yet (and I only say that because if I had eaten that little when I was 22, I would have already lost 3 pounds), but I'm hopeful my strategy will work.  I also jumped for 45 minutes with my son at a bouncy house place yesterday and did 30 minutes on the elliptical today.  My goal is to have it all off before my daughter's first birthday.  It's going to take some major will power, but I'm up for the challenge.

A better year

2012 is finally over!  I have never been excited for a year to end and New Year's has never been that significant a holiday for me.  But this time, New Year's means a lot and I didn't really realize it until last night.  My husband and I have never really celebrated the new year.  Now that we have three kids, one of whom is an infant, we really had no real intention of going out to celebrate or even having much of a celebration at the house.  I did try to have some friends over for dinner and was trying to put something fun together for the kids, but nothing worked out.  So midnight came last night, my husband and I shared a lack-luster sparkling grape juice toast and a peck on the lips.  Pretty anti-climactic; which is why we never really celebrate New Year's to begin with.  This year our rather dull ceremony depressed me.  I had a really tough 2012, physically and emotionally, and for the first time ever, the new year is giving me some hope for the future.  Our celebration for a new year did not match my excitement for my new outlook.

I'm finally in a place where I think I'm comfortable being a SAHM.  I certainly believe there are more pros than cons.  Research that I spent 4 years working on may finally get published this year!  Which means all those years and all that time behind the bench might actually count for something.  And by association my life during that time may have counted for something.  And with that has come a renewed surge of self-confidence that I just might be able to lose the last bit of baby weight.  Yes, that's right.  I've pledged to lose weight just in time for the New Year.  It's not a resolution.  I don't really do those.  It's more the fulfillment of a promise I made to myself a long time ago.  I'm an emotional eater, and I've been pretty bummed the last year, so I've eaten a lot.  Now I'm ready to brush all that debris off, work through my crap and believe in me again.  I'm very excited for 2013.

More Awesome Parenting.. no seriously

It all began with a grumpy 3 year old at about 5:30 in the evening.  It was that kind of grumpy that only happens when a young child has decided to give up napping, when he has the flu, at Christmas time.  My husband and I couldn't wait for bed time, but we knew that if he fell asleep then, he would get up around 8 and be up way past midnight.  As we were not feeling so great ourselves, we needed him to stay awake long enough for dinner and then he could go to bed around 7:30.  Unfortunately dinner was taking a little longer than expected and our son started to fall asleep on the couch.  When he gets tired and decides to fall asleep there is NO waking him up.  Dancing monkeys, juggling lit torches on bouncy balls couldn't get my son to open his eyes.  So my husband did what he had to do, what only a seasoned veteran parent would do.  He offered our son.... a cookie.  He popped right up and by the time he was done with his cookie, dinner was ready and we were all able to get a good night's sleep.  Now that's parenting.

Post Sandy Hook

Yesterday, my daughter and I got in a little argument about whether or not she should wear a coat while we went to her school to pick up her homework.  We had to pick up her work because she has the flu and has missed several days.  It was 55 degrees F outside, she has the flu, and she wouldn't put on a coat!  Seriously!  I got angry and snapped at her.

Later that night I was on the computer, reading stories about the victims in Newtown.  I've been crying off and on for days about it, but last night I really broke down.  I wondered how many of those parents had fought over what their child was going to wear to school that day. How many wished they had said something different when they said goodbye that morning? I ran upstairs and gave my daughter a ginormous hug and kiss.  I hate to think that my last memory of her or her last memory of me would be of us arguing.  I hope I can remember that.

Personal Assistant

From the very beginning of my SAHM tenure, I've told my husband that his company should hire me to be his secretary.  He could really use one and I could use the job.  Besides it's something I do already.  While he is primarily responsible for remembering the dates of birthdays, anniversaries, etc via his calendar, it's my job to purchase, message and get him to sign the cards.  I keep tack of doctor's appointments, birthday parties, play dates and after school activities.  I have to say, it's much easier to keep up with everything now that I don't work.

Tonight I became a full fledged assistant.  While he was sitting watching the NFR, I was handing him refinance papers to sign.  It was hilarious.  I just pointed and said sign here.  He did it with one eye on the paper and one one on the steer wrestling.  He didn't even look at what he was signing.  Such a trusting soul.... I wonder what else I could get him to sign.

Time Marches On

A sad and wonderful thing happened this weekend.  We went to our town's yearly Christmas parade where our oldest ran into some friends from school.  They had fun running around in the park before the parade began.  About five minutes before it was going to start she asked if she could sit with her friends instead of us.  My husband and I looked at each other an instantly knew the answer.... yes.  It was really a bitter sweet moment for me. It was wonderful to see my daughter get to experience a little freedom from her parents, but sad to know it is just the beginning.  Today it's a parade, tomorrow it's prom.  My husband and I shared a knowing glance and returned to our other two kiddos.

That experience really hit home for me just how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my kids.  They grow up so fast and I'm getting to see every bit of it.  Last night I watched all three play blocks in our son's room.  Granted, the baby was just chewing things, but they were all in there together having a great time.  I know it can't last forever.  My oldest is 7.  She's not going to want to play with her little brother and sister for too much longer.  It's so wonderful to get to watch my kids' personalities grow.  They are hilarious, fantastic and unexpected.  I am very blessed to have a front row seat to their childhood.