First Day home

Well, she's finally here.  I am officially the mother of three adorable children.  I have my little momma, who can be quite helpful but may also accidentally smother the baby with love.  I have the angry middle child who is only happy if we all do exactly what he wants when he wants and of course the cutie baby who never talks back, never moves, loves to cuddle, but also does not sleep and currently will not eat.

Our first day home was completely uneventful and totally exhausting.  The night in the hospital was totally unrestful.  Not because of the baby, but because of all the nurses who kept checking on us.  All I wanted to do was sleep and all they wanted was my temp and blood pressure.  While the baby slept most of the first night, we were not so lucky the second.   We left the hospital about 7:30 at night, so our first priority was getting the other two in bed.  Then my husband and I, quite stupidly, decided not to go to bed until 10 or so.  Mistake.  The baby just wasn't sleepy.  She wasn't dirty, wet or hungry.  Just not necessarily sleepy.   

Needless to say we started our first day home with about 2 hours of interrupted sleep.  Luckily my husband had decided to take the week off because he was just about a zombie from almost 3 days of little to no sleep.  Our oldest went to school, so it was just the two year old and the baby against us.  Of course the baby slept most of the day, so we were pretty much devoted to entertaining our son, which I think worked out for the best.  He as been quite angry lately and we think a lot of it has to do with the newest addition to the family.  I think we were able to successfully show him that we will not forget about him just because there is a new baby in the house.  Some how we managed to squeeze in a few hours of sleep during the day, but then it was time for our oldest to come home.

She is a beaming older sister.  There could not be a prouder sister in the whole world.  She just glows around the baby.  I am super excited about that.  However, our daughter does have other responsibilities including homework and piano practice and she needs to do them instead of playing with her sister.  That did not go over well and I think a few less than ideal night's sleep had caught up to her because we had quite the crying fit.  As soon as I mentioned it was time to practice piano we had tears, a stomach ache, a bug bite and a sudden inability to play.

We got the kids cleaned and to bed and totally crashed as soon as the baby would allow.  Thankfully she slept a little better and while we are not 100%, we are certainly a lot more capable today than yesterday!

And even with all the craziness, I love being a mom and would not change a thing!

The Joy of Pregnancy

It's just a cruel joke that you spend 9 months waiting for a baby and go through many body pains and changes, just for that baby to NOT COME OUT!  This happened to me with my first two kids and now the third will be induced as well.  Oh well.

I got excited for a few brief seconds yesterday when I thought my water broke.  Turns out I just peed my pants.  At least only my husband saw.  It would have been much worse if it had happened in the grocery store or something.  The truly sad part is that I couldn't tell!  What has happened to my body that I not only can't control when I pee,  but I can't even tell if I'm peeing.  And of course to go along with the inability to know if I'm peeing comes the overwhelming feeling that I need to pee, but I don't actually because it's just the baby pounding down on my bladder like a jackhammer on an unwanted concrete slab.

The craziest part is that I knew all this would happen and chose to get pregnant again!  I may even do it again.  Children truly mess with your brain.

My poor, poor husband

My poor, poor husband.  He has not had a full night's sleep in almost two weeks.  It's not his fault, it's mine.  You would think it would be the 2-3 runs to the bathroom each night or the constant tossing and turning I do just to try and get comfortable that is keeping him awake.  But no, it is a relatively new development.  One that I'm not terribly proud of and hoped would never happen to me.  I have become....Gasp..... a snorer.  I guess the extra weight I've put on in this pregnancy has led to this development.  I can only hope that it goes away once I have the baby.

It's not like a gentle lulling snore either.  I asked my husband to video tape me snoring just so I could see how bad it really is and OH MY GOSH, I rival my dad and grandma!  And that, I promise, is an accomplishment.  The noises my father and grandmother can produce in their sleep are legendary.  We often laugh about it at family gatherings.  There's a story my mom likes to tell about me when I was little.  We were staying at my grandmother's house.  Apparently, I woke up to some terrible noise and ran to my mother afraid of some evil creature hiding in the dark.  Turns out, it was just my grandma.

I remember sleeping two closed doors away from my father and not being able to sleep unless his snoring was loud enough that I thought he was in the same room.  When he finally got a sleep apnea machine and quit snoring, I had the hardest time falling asleep.  Now, it's apparently my turn to keep others awake.  I have snored so loud that I have woken myself up!  I can seriously feel the vibrations of the snore in my throat and the noise jolts me awake.  The worst part is that I can't even roll over to stop snoring. 

This morning our daughter joined us in bed about 6AM.  I was falling in and out of sleep when once again I woke myself up, snoring.  And then I heard my daughter pretending to snore.  My husband very nicely asked her to stop and she said, "But Mommy does it."  There's nothing like carrying on a family tradition!

Mourning the loss of "The Norm"

I remember when I was expecting our son, how sad I could get looking at our daughter.  She was so cute and fun, I honestly thought I was doing her a terrible injustice by having another child.  Her whole life would be turned upside down and our relationship would never be the same again. I actually cried over the loss of our life together.  That feeling has returned as we have gotten closer to the inevitable arrival of baby number three.

I was looking at our son the other day and noticably sighed.  He is so super cute and funny and is in just the best stage of childhood.  It has been wonderful having the last two weeks to spend good, quality time with him.  I was helping him get his shoes on today when he looked at me and totally unprompted said, "Mommy, I love you."  Melted my heart.

It's odd because I think our daughter will be just fine.  She has already experienced the intrusion of a sibling and, I think, is really looking forward to a new sister.  She will be seven years older than her new sister, which just boggles my mind.  I only have one sibling and she and I aren't even two years apart.

Our boy is the one I am concerned about.  He loves to be the baby and while he loves to dress up like daddy and wants to grow big and strong like him, he is all mine.  Adjusting to a new sibling could be quite difficult for him especially since she's going to require a lot of my time and attention.  I am already thinking of ways to make sure I spend some significant one on one time with him, but I am sad that we (he and I) will never be the same again.  I know he's not going anywhere, but he is my baby.  And now I have to let go of that, a little, and welcome our next baby.

I am amazed at how just when you think your heart is filled to the capacity, it can triple in size.  Right now I am mourning the eminent loss of our current family while anxiously awaiting the transformation to the next.

I feel very blessed to have these months at home with our son and daughter before the baby's arrival:  another pro to being a SAHM.

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